In a recent post on female sexual preferences, Jim writes about the need for shotgun marriages, when a boy “abducts” an unmarried, un-betrothed girl and takes her virginity and how fathers of such girls should be pressurized into accepting such marriages, and if they don’t, should be socially shamed.
I have a somewhat different take on this, as from my comment on JB:
Shotgun marriages should be seen as the last resort and an unfortunate compromise in any healthy patriarchy. Because girls should almost always be betrothed very early, preferably by the time the girl is 13 and before they really get the opportunity to see the world outside and start to “cruise” for alpha.
“Abduction” is not really abduction in 99.99% cases. It’s mostly the girl running away with the boy, in fact, in some cases even explicitly demanding she be abducted. When girl’s father lodges a police complaint against the boy for kidnapping, the girl usually says she came voluntarily with the boy! This happens too often. Modern “shotgun marriages” have become a way for girls to get their own way by undermining father’s authority.
In Indian movies of 80s 90s and even in 2000s there was a common thread. Rich girl – poor boy “love” story. Of course, the “rich” was usually a euphemism for upper caste and “poor” almost always meant lower caste. The boy was usually a wastrel / thug low-life (of course depicted in a positive light as a man with a heart of gold and his criminal activities usually justified as being for some noble cause, since he’s the hero of the movie) and the rich girl lusts after him after seeing him perform “criminal” acts and getting away with it. Of course, boy spurns girl initially and later accepts her at one point when she literally begs that he kidnap her and marry her, since her father will not accept the match and is arranging her to be married into her own station. The conflict between upper caste and lower caste was woven into this – such movies were made usually with the payload of undermining patriarchy and caste at the same time.
Now, of course, that is why even up to my grandfather’s generation, marriages were arranged very early, and a girl not being betrothed after 14 years was seen as undesirable.
If a girl’s father chooses not to arrange his daughter’s marriage early, of course, he should be responsible for the consequences that follow and a father who encourages his girl to study higher for career and become a whore should absolutely not be supported by society. But in a functional patriarchy such situations should be very rare.
My conclusion is that, the undermining of patriarchy starts with such “compromises” and ends up with outright female emancipation, with the State actually playing the role of the abductor and forcing parents to accept obviously wrong life choices of their daughters in the name of “freedom”.